


A Cry For Help

by Pistol



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pistol/pseuds/Pistol
Summary: Cougar nods and mentally does the math on how much money he has saved up. If he walked out and got fired for it, it'd probably take a couple of months to get another job in this economy. Between rent and student loans he'd have to move back in with his mother... Cougar sighs and does his best to keep his face neutral.
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 107





	A Cry For Help

"What do you want?" 

Cougar blinks, stepping backwards until he's out of the office. He checks the name plate next to the door, reading it twice, before looking back into the room. The blond man at the desk is still staring intently at his DS and managing to also look distinctly displeased to have someone else in the room.

"This is Franklin Clay's office. Chances are, you're in the right place if you got this far." 

Cougar hesitates, but steps back into the room. 

The guy glances up at him while hitting a few buttons and throwing the DS down on his desk. 

"So," he says with the beginnings of a leer, "what can I do you for?"

"I have an appointment," Cougar says, while doing his best not to look directly at what appears to be carrot sticks duct taped to the front of the desk.

The secretary nods, looking him over slowly, before he picks up his desk phone, punching in buttons without looking. He clears his throat, eyes still locked on Cougar's as he drawls out, "Clay, your happy ending masseur is here." 

Cougar can hear the yelling over the phone from where he's standing.

"Dude. _Chill._ He's older than you normally go for, but that's a good thing, right? I mean I know you make sure they're eighteen, but this way if someone sees him no one's throwing around terms like 'sexual predator' or talking about jail time, yeah?"

The words are barely out of the secretary's mouth before the two large doors behind his desk are thrown open and Franklin Clay bursts out looking flustered. 

"_Jensen_," he growls, like a warning. Jensen smiles back, a man without fear. 

Cougar is tempted to turn around and walk out the door when the CEO moves forward with an outstretched hand. Good manners and a willingness to keep his job inspire Cougar to shake it. 

"Franklin Clay, call me Clay." 

"Carlos Alvarez."

"Jake Jensen, call me Jensen," Jensen pipes up cheekily.

Cougar chances a look toward Jensen's desk just in time to catch Jensen winking at him. Clay shakes his head, fixing Jensen with a tired expression.

"No more coffee, Jensen," Clay orders, before giving Cougar apologetic smile. "We're related. Trust me, I'd _love_ to fire him."

"Bull_shit_. If we were '_related_' you wouldn't call me in to '_file your paperwork_'," Jensen snarks, with air quotes. He stops, scratching at his facial hair and looking thoughtful. "_Or_. Maybe you would. You sick _bastard."_

"Christ!" Clay snaps. "I have you put the printouts into files, don't say it like... _that_!"

"Noted. Okay, then, I stand corrected." Jensen nods sagely. "If we were related you wouldn't call me in to _bend over your desk a_-"

Jensen's words are cut off as Clay quickly moves to clamps his hand over Jensen's mouth, using his other hand to punch angrily at the keys on Jensen's phone. 

"_What_?" A irritated voice comes crackling over the speaker.

"Roque, get over here and deal with Jensen," Clay booms.

"_No._" 

"Roque," Clay says in a low tone, "I have a meeting. With a lawyer. About that _thing_ we talked about."

There's a sigh and a curse before the sound of the dial tone fills the room. 

Clay looks at Cougar apologetically. "It'll be just a minute." He pauses, looking at Jensen who just wiggles his eyebrows. "Also, I feel the need to point out for legal and non-legal reasons that I've never had sex, consensual or otherwise, with Jensen." 

Cougar nods and mentally does the math on how much money he has saved up. If he walked out and got fired for it, it'd probably take a couple months to get another job in this economy. Between rent and student loans he'd have to move back in with his mother... Cougar sighs and does his best to keep his face neutral.

From under Clay's hand Jensen ineffectually tries to add his own commentary but Clay firmly slaps a second hand over his mouth muttering threats and something about soccer games.  
Jensen huffs, but stops.

There are heavy footsteps in the hall and then a large scarred, man throws open the door, and walks directly over to Jensen's desk, ignoring Cougar. Clay removes his hands, wiping them with a grimace on his pants.

"Boo. You suck," Jensen says, giving Clay a dirty look. "Come on, be a pal and make Roque go away. Remember how we don't like him 'cause he's a dirty traitor who bets against the Petunias?"

"Jensen, what the hell is going on? And why are there carrots taped to your desk?"

"I got bored being just a secretary so I decided to upgrade my status. I'm no longer Clay's secretary, I'm the Secretary of Agriculture. Respect me, respect my crops, and respect my farm on Harvest Moon," Jensen says, picking up his DS and waving it at Roque.

"No. And you better not have been messing with any government owned websites unless you want Clay to call Jennifer," Roque says with folded arms. "Now apologize to the suit."

"Whatever. It'll be back to the much less awesome agriculture dude by lunch," Jensen grumbles, rolling his eyes before turning to Cougar. "Sorry that I opened your eyes to the sexual plight of secretaries everywhere. Ever since _Mad Men_ came out it's gotten worse. That show is becoming our Vietnam." 

There's a audible _smack_ as Roque slaps Jensen upside his head.

"Shit!" Jensen yelps while readjusting his glasses. "I better be getting get a big bonus at Christmas. Otherwise, I _will_ be calling up Aisha and telling her about memos you think I don't know about," he says, pointing a menacing finger at Roque and Clay.

Roque looks unimpressed, turning to nod at Clay. "Take it into your office, I got this."

Clay motions Cougar forward and Cougar follows, happy to be anywhere that isn't _here_.

Once they're inside, Clay shuts both doors before sagging against them and rubbing at his face. "It's in your best interest to forget everything you saw and heard." 

"Saw nothing. Heard nothing."

"Outstanding. Now, have a seat," Clay says motioning to two overstuffed chairs while moving to the wet bar behind his desk, "Drink?"

"Yes."

Clay nods and pours two very large portions of vodka into a pair of tumblers. He moves to sit against his desk, holding one out for Cougar to take.

"I can't fire him. His sister is my ex-wife. Mother of my child." Clay downs half his glass like it's water. "My kid loves him. Thinks he's the coolest thing since Miley Cyrus."

Cougar nods and manages not to flinch as the sound of crashing and yelling drifts into Clay's office. Clay finishes his drink and sets the glass down.

"Transfer him?" Cougar suggests.

"I wish." Clay mutters. "He says his life's mission is to be an eternal reminder of why 'don't no one break my sisters heart'."

Cougar must not hide his confusion well because Clay gives him a lopsided smile.

"Fucker was at MIT getting a degree in computers or some shit when Jennifer, his sister, tried to light me on fire. She..." Clay winces, "may have found me in bed with my _former_ secretary." Clay wanders over to refill his glass. "The next day Jensen dropped out and was listed in HR as my new secretary. No one remembered hiring him, and every time we fire him he's back on the payroll by the next day."

"So you want to press charges?" 

"Naw," Clay says, waving a hand absently, "He's not normally this bad, but Jolene made him cookies and his trashcan is full of Red-Bulls. Sugar, caffeine, and Jensen just don't mix." 

There's something oddly fond in Clay's tone that Cougar might have missed if he wasn't so good at his job.

"You like him."

"Hell no, that boy's a pain in my ass," Clay grouses, smiling faintly as the sound of Roque's yelling drifts through the doors. "And he keeps Roque on his toes - which means Roque doesn't go picking fights with other companies."

"No legal charges?"

"Nah, no need," Clay says with a shake of his head. "When he isn't being a little terror, he's not too bad." Clay waves his hand, "Anyways. The reason I called you here is Pooch - he's the head of my security - caught an ex of mine planting a bomb in my car. I'd like to take out a restraining order. Just until she calms down."

"Until she calms down?" Cougar clarifies.

"Yeah, I'm hoping she and I can move past this," Clay says seriously.

It's suddenly painfully clear why the junior partners handed off such a large client without a fight.

\-----

The next time Cougar sees Jensen the carrots are gone and Jensen is wearing a purple tee-shirt that says _My eyes are up here, sir_, complete with an arrow. Jensen smiles, eyes lingering over Cougar, compelling him to adjust his tie and smooth out his jacket.

"You here to see Director Douchebag?" Jensen asks happily.

Cougar nods.

"He's busy, but feel free to have a seat, he'll be done soon."

Cougar glances around the front office before raising an eyebrow. 

"Oh silly me, I forgot we're having the chairs redone. Well, I guess that leaves only one place for you to sit." Jensen rolls out from his desk, patting his lap.

Cougar keeps his expression purposefully blank. "That's sexual harassment."  
"Nahhhh," Jensen says, "that can't be right. I don't want to harass you, I just want to get you naked and do sexy stuff with you."

"No. It's sexual harassment." Cougar frowns and spells it out for him. "I would know, I'm a _lawyer_."

"Oh, I know," Jensen says wiggling his eyebrows. "Your brain turns me on almost as much as that ass." 

Cougar sighs, straightening his tie anxiously as he watches the clock.

"You know, I did some digging since I last met you, Carlos '_Cougar_' Alvarez. They say you're quite the up and comer, winning your cases while staying a pretty quiet guy, even in court. Is it true you stared at that Union guy till he confessed?" Jensen doesn't seem interested in Cougar's answer, instead turning to frown at his computer as he continues, "Weirdly though, I couldn't find any nudes of you, no matter how hard I tried. Not even so much as a shirtless pic. But you were a real cutie in high school. I don't normally go for the jail bait look, but your-"

"Jensen," Clay interrupts tiredly from the doorway, "_stop_. Do so before he decides to press charges."

Jensen seems nonplussed to be caught, spinning his chair to face Clay with a smile.

"Aww! You're worried. It's cause you looooooove me, isn't it?"

Clay shoots Jensen a dark look and moves back into his office, motioning for Cougar to follow. Cougar spares a quick look at Jensen before following.

"Bye Cougs!" Jensen calls cheerfully before Clay closes the door behind them.

"Believe it or not, his sister is actually worse than him," Clay says, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of amber liquid. Clay pours three fingers and hands the glass to Cougar before pouring his own. He drink slowly, staring at Cougar until Cougar's tempted to flinch. He resists the urge, staying outwardly unfazed, and Clay finally breaks away with a sigh.

"I won't press charges," Cougar assures him, unsure of the mood in the room.

"Of course you won't," Clay says sadly into his glass. "So I called you here today because I need another restraining order."

"Bomb?"

Clay snorts, "I wish. She tried to burn down my house." Clay smiles slowly, swirling his drink. "_Redheads_," Clay drawls affectionately.

\-----

The third time Cougar sees Jensen, he's slumped over his desk with blood shot eyes. Jensen raises his head off his desk just high enough to see Cougar before slamming his head down and blindly reaching for his phone.

"I hate you, Clay," Jensen growls in a hoarse voice as laughter pours out of the speaker, loud enough Cougar can hear from the doorway.

Clay's doors swing open a moment later and Clay gestures Cougar inside with a bright smile.  
"Jensen, why don't you run off and get me and Carlos some coffee?"

"Cougar. He likes to be called Cougar," Jensen mutters, raising a middle finger to Clay.

Clay nods thoughtfully, and follows Cougar into the room.

"You prefer to be called Cougar?"

Cougar shrugs.

"Cougar it is, then." 

"So I met this girl," Clay starts, only to be cut off as his doors swing open violently.

"I swear, this fucker could walk into a room and walk out with the craziest woman in it," Jensen mutters as he storms into the room carrying two mugs. He hands one to Cougar before drinking deeply from the other. After a moment Jensen stops, smacks his lips, and slams the empty mug down on Clay's desk before leaving. Clay looks amused.

"He and Roque got drunk at the company party last night. They've been throwing up all morning," Clay says, as if it explains his gleeful mood.

Cougar just sighs when he realizes it basically _does_.

"The girl?" Cougar asks bluntly.

Clay sighs and rolls up his sleeves reveling what looks like a 'v' and an 'i' carved into his arm. "Vicky," Clay says sourly. "I thought we had something special, but then this happened."

\----

The fourth time Cougar sees Jensen he's down on one knee next to a bald man. They are serenading an irritated looking woman. Badly. When Cougar enters the room, the woman looks up at him sympathetically as both men continue to belt out the lyrics to _Jolene_.

"You have company," the woman says, pointing to Cougar.

"_Your beauty is beyond compare!_" Jensen and the other man croon, ignoring her words, "_With flaming locks of auburn hair!_"

The woman glares at the bald man. "Do you know what's going to happen if either of you clowns start singing about my '_ivory skin_'?"

"Abort, Pooch, abort!" Jensen stage-whispers. Jensen blinks when he catches sight of Cougar, and then places both hands on Pooch's head, rubbing quickly. "For luck," he tells the bald guy, who swats him away.

"Do I look like a fucking Buddha to you?" 

"Be nice, Linwood, he's gonna need it," the woman says with a grin, looking over at Cougar. He's beginning to hate how this is place no longer seems as odd as it should.

"Shut up Jolene, I'm gonna woo the _shit_ out of him. We're gonna adopt tiny foreign babies and not let you play with them."

Cougar frowns. Okay, _that_ felt odd. He takes a hesitant step backwards before Jensen turns to him with a chilling smile.

"If you run, I'll have to hobble you," Jensen says cheerfully. "And I _really_ like your legs the way they are."

"You're never gonna get laid," Jolene says with a calm shake of her head.

"And you hate children," Pooch points out. "Except Beth." 

"I will too get laid! And Pooch does have a point. Cougar, I'm sorry, but we'll have to get you a dog or cat to dote on instead of children. I hate the little fuckers."

"You're insane." Cougar says, disappointed to hear how fond he sounds. 

Jensen, unfortunately, seems to catch this and smiles brightly at him. Luckily before Jensen can open his mouth and spew more insanity, Clay opens his doors, a fresh black eye on his face.

"I need to take care of this," Cougar says quickly, walking into Clay's office without being prompted.

"Holy shit," Jolene exclaims as Clay gives Cougar a curious look, "You _are_ gonna get laid."

\-----

The fifth time Cougar expects to see Jensen the man isn't at his desk, but Clay and Roque are leaning against it.

"We need to talk."

"And not about Clay's psychotic harem," Roque adds.

Cougar sighs and takes a seat in one of the chairs along the wall, tugging his tie loose. "Jensen?" Cougar hazards a guess.

"He's a good kid," Clay says seriously. "Well, he is, once you get past how irritating, bratty, pushy-"

"Stupid," Roque adds helpfully.

"Right," Clay says, nodding, "and stupid. He's genuinely an insane mess."

"He's also a grown man capable of making his own choices," Cougar points out.

Clay smirks and looks over to Roque. "He's got balls."

"Whatever," Roque scoffs, managing to look pleased and irritated all at the same time.

Clay crosses his arms, "How's your company treating you, Cougar?"

Cougar narrows his eyes and remains silent.

"We're offering you a new job." 

"Because of your secretary?" Cougar asks warily.

"Partially. Partially because you've kept Clay's ass out of his _well_ deserved fire. You're a good lawyer, and we'd like to bring you onto the team. Get you working on some cases that don't involve psychotic women."

"Psychotic is such a strong word." 

\-----

The fifth time Cougar sees Jensen, the other man opens his mouth, doubtlessly to say something cringe-worthy, but Cougar stops him with a slow smile.

Jensen's mouth snaps closed and he swallows.

"Dinner. My place." 

"Dinner? " Jensen echoes, looking confused. "Your place?"

"To celebrate my new job." Cougar smirks at him. "You'll get laid." 

It's surprisingly fun to watch Jensen be the speechless one.

**Author's Note:**

> Was previously posted, then taken down. Now it's back up. Beware the errors and typos, I suspect the files I found on my old hard drive are the pre-beta versions.  
Please don't steal any of my silly stories and change some names around and then try to sell them as books on Amazon or I'm gonna have to take everything down again.


End file.
